Flame, Eagle, Demon
by jtav
Summary: Edelgard is seriously injured during the flight from the Holy Tomb, and is forced to consider what she will and won't do for her ambition. Keeping Byleth by her side means more than a single choice.


Every muscle in Edelgard's body ached. The Red Canyon was one of the few places where some of the more superstitious Church soldiers might fear to pursue them, but the cliffs and ravines were treacherous even when she wasn't trying to navigate them in armor. She grabbed a handhold and pulled herself up with a grunt as Byleth and Caspar scurried up behind her with deceptive ease. The moon shone on the grey-red rocks. They would have to stop for the night soon, even though the nearest Imperial camp was three miles away. All of them had to be exhausted after, well, everything.

She had planned for every possible outcome at the Holy Tomb—even her own death—except for what had actually happened. Byleth wielded the Sword of the Creator and everyone from Rhea to the gatekeeper thought she was Seiros come again. Yet she had chosen to walk Edelgard's path and spirited her away, and her classmates and even some of the teachers had chosen to follow. Edelgard no longer had it in her to thank the Goddess, but she couldn't help but marvel at her good fortune.

At last they clambered to the top. The plateau was uncomfortably exposed, but it would have to do. Bernadetta huffed, and even the eternally cheerful Ferdinand was red in the face, his uniform caked with dirt and blood. Byleth had gotten the worst of it. Sweat plastered her hair to her scalp, and small cuts dotted her face. Edelgard flinched. This was her handiwork. She had slashed at the same face that she had stroked so tenderly during their trip from Enbarr. Teacher and student, lovers, enemies, and now she-didn't-know-what._ I swear to you that I will repay you for everything I put you through._

"That's enough for now. I'm sorry that you have to sleep under open sky, but we should reach camp tomorrow. It means more to me than I can say that you chose to walk this path with me."

They looked at each other, and even in the low light, the anxiety was plain on their faces. They were the scions of nobility who had benefited the most from the Church and its Crest-dominated social order. Opposing the Archbishop would have been unthinkable only yesterday. Bernadetta squeaked. "P—path? We did it. We're facing the Church."

"Calm yourself, "Ferdinand said as softly and gently as Edelgard had ever heard him speak. "We have seen many disturbing things during our time at the Academy. If our professor believes that this cause merits violence, then it is our duty to put an end to oppression."

Ah, of course. They had not chosen her at all. They had chosen Byleth, and Byleth had chosen her. The last of her strength fled, and she longed for nothing more than to throw her cloak over her head and sleep. "The next few weeks will be difficult, and the war will take years. I hope you'll stay, but if you choose to turn back I want stop you." It wasn't up to her usual standards, but she had trouble finding the energy to care. Her gaze met Byleth's and she waited for confirmation that this was real and she wasn't about to wake up alone and abandoned or worse.

"You all saw how Rhea raved." There was a rawness to Byleth's voice that Edelgard had never heard before. "And you've seen family members tossed to the side because they didn't have Crests. Or because they did and their noble husbands only wanted a brood mare." Her gaze met Edelgard's. "Or you've endured horror I don't even want to think about. No more. Whatever I have to do, whatever I have to forgive, I'm going to change the world."

"Hear hear, Professor!" Lysithia said "We've got to make things better."

"The boar's finally gone completely mad. The whole world's gone mad. It's time they learned how false their ideals of honor are."

Soon enough all of them were cheering: Black Eagles as well as former members of the other two houses. Edelgard allowed herself to smile. This was a war for the soul of all Fódlan, not merely a vehicle for imperial ambitions. That those who owed her no allegiance could see what needed to be done could only portend good things.

She had just found a promising-looking rock for pillow when Caspar ambled her toward her looking for all the world like he had endured nothing more than an invigorating training session. "So, Edelgard," he said, gesturing vaguely at her armor. "You were the Flame Emperor? Or are. I'm not really sure what tense I should be using."

"Pardon?" she croaked.

"It was you every time? Not some kind of shared identity thing?"

"It was me." She looked down. The armor had been designed to intimidate and obscure as much as for function. While it was no Relic, some magic had been worked in the metal to strengthen her own physical and magical abilities. She had been rather pleased when Thales' smiths had presented it to her. Now she simply felt ridiculous. "Is there a point to this, Caspar?'"

"Um, well. "His face colored as he roughed up the back of his neck. "I guess I wanted to know if you were really going to kill us?"

She should have been ready. She wasn't. Or rather she wasn't ready to give him an answer that he wanted to hear. She had spent last night in a vigil of her own, recounting the names of her brothers and sisters. Every time she thought of Dorothea's easy smile, she would remember Cristina crying for help in the dark. When she remembered Byleth's lips nibbling on her ear and making her whimper, she thought of Hans who could no longer dress himself or recall her name. Even if she couldn't have dreamed of this, she had hoped everyone she loved would stand down. If they hadn't though...the Emperor must always put duty ahead of her feelings. "It's useless to speculate. You're my ally. More than that, you're my friend. I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."

He blinked. "Has anyone ever told you that you're really scary?"

"She's right, though. Anything can happen with a live weapon." Byleth clapped him on the shoulder the way she did when his axe technique was sloppy. "Get some sleep. We've all had a very long day."

"Right." He looked at them and his eyes glittered and Edelgard wondered, he not for the first time, if the others knew. "I'll just leave you two alone."

They sat together in silence. Whatever spark that had allowed her to make that speech seem to have deserted Byleth. She looked older and just as exhausted as Edelgard felt. She wished that she could draw her into her arms and kiss away her wounds, but she likely didn't have the right. Even if her upbringing had been less sheltered, she doubted anyone would have told her what she was supposed to do now. She wished she knew what promises she could make to reassure Byleth that she would rather die than raise a hand to her again.

"I hated the Flame Emperor," she whispered at long last. "I blamed him for Dad's death."

Old, shared grief broke through Edelgard's exhaustion and threatened to carry her under. She wasn't to blame for Jeralt's death, but her allies were. It was a narrow line, and she couldn't blame Byleth for not seeing it clearly. But the thought that she might hate her... "Would it help if I told you how good it felt to watch Kronya and Solon die? I never wanted Jeralt's death or that atrocity in Remire. They are allies of convenience, but the very day the Church's power is broken..." She removed her left gauntlet vambrace and rolled up her sleeve. "I am going to repay them for what they did to me and my family."

Byleth's eyes went wide. "_They're_ the ones who did this to you?" Her tone might have been shock, horror, or disgust, or all three. "And you're working with them?"

"Of necessity only. Freeing the world from the tyranny of Crests matters more to me than even justice."

Byleth looked at Edelgard as if she had never seen her before, and that hurt more than any blow she had received tonight. "Is there anything you won't do to accomplish your goals?"

A question she had asked herself many times over the last year. "I do what I must. With you and the others here, perhaps I will see less monstrous paths I would been too frightened to try otherwise." She bowed her head. "If an ally on the field of battle is all I can be to you, then it's no less than I deserve."

The silence seemed to stretch on forever "Give me time. I—"

"We found that heretics!"

Edelgard snapped to attention. Silhouetted against the darkness was a full troop of aerial cavalry atop the largest wyverns she had ever seen. The Red Canyon might keep the superstitious away, but Rhea's elite troops would be all too anxious to avenge this defilement. Two to one odds were a problem at the best of times, and they were exhausted and their own mounts were back at the monastery.

Byleth was on her feet in a moment. "Ashe, Bernadetta! Lay down suppressing fire! Lysithia. to the rear and time your shots. Edelgard, you're with me. They want that heretics? Let's give them a meeting they won't forget."

Edelgard understood. They were both vanguard and bait. The first soldier dived straight for her. She readied her axe and waited. When his beast was close enough to count the scales, she sidestepped. The rider yanked on his reins but the split-second it took him to correct his course was enough for Edelgard to cleave his armor in two.

"Well done," Byleth said between pants and for a moment they were on the training ground preparing for the Battle of Eagle and Lion. Perhaps she would be permitted to earn forgiveness after all.

An arrow whizzed by her head. The archer hovered safely out of reach of her axe. As if that would protect him. Her instructors had praised the prodigy who had excelled at seemingly everything she had tried, but it had taken Byleth to show her the wonders of magic. The flame coursed through her and lit up the darkness. This was true power, the ability to create from nothing. Byleth raised her hand and the sky was awash in red and white lights as magic of the mind and magic of the soul worked in perfect union.

A man grunted in pain. Ferdinand went flying as a lance blow hit home. Despite her minor victories, the Black Eagles were losing, being driven slowly but inevitably back with no way to retreat. Lysithia screamed as her leg was slashed. The poor, brilliant girl who was only here because she had suffered as Edelgard had. All of them were here because of her crusade. And they were going to die. Slowly, inevitably, bravely. Death all the same.

_Not today. _Solon had often talked as he worked of just what a "gift" his experiments were. The Crest of Flames was impressive on its own, but she would be able to combine it with her native Crest to produce enhancements far beyond the physical. She might channel power and form to rival that of a Demonic Beast or she could use it to become a powerful sorcerer. He had let her go before he could test his theories. She didn't want to know what kind of strain it would put on her, but if the choices were certain death for her and everyone she loved or merely probable death, there was only one way forward.

All the torture she had endured couldn't prepare her for the white-hot pain coursing through her body. Thought broke down and she was merely a beast, a conduit of pain and rage. And flame. Fire poured out of her hands and rose higher and higher. Soldiers screamed and still the flame rushed on. How dare they? How dare they hurt her friends? How dare the Church discard so many? How dare they use Byleth like a game piece?

The last thing she heard before darkness consumed her was Byleth screaming her name.

Edelgard woke to a cool cloth on her forehead and rough sheets. Her head throbbed, and her mouth tasted of something vile. She forced her eyes open. She was in a room with smooth stone walls and an Imperial banner. Probably somewhere safe then. Late morning sunlight streamed through the window. She flinched from the brightness and tried to stir. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was the soldiers and becoming...something to stop them. Where was everyone? "I—"

"Take it easy," said Professor Manuela and pushed her down. "I don't know what you did, but it's a miracle you didn't burn up from the inside.

A chair squeaked and Byleth exploded into her field of vision. She looked as if she hadn't slept in days, and her armor was stained with sweat. She seized Edelgard's hand. "You're awake! Thank Sothis—don't scare me like that!"

Edelgard squeezed feebly. She was somewhere with Byleth and Manuela, and her beloved, stoic professor was shaking with emotion. Things couldn't be all bad. "It would be easier to make promises if I knew what was going on."

Byleth and Manuela looked at each other. "You're in an Imperial supply camp. Hubert and the others are probably listening at the door as we speak. Whatever you did saved our lives, and I've spent the last three days trying to decide between kissing you and strangling you."

"Three days?" She tried and failed once more to sit up. Her plans had depended on a lightning fast attack on the monastery that could never happen now. "Rhea will be plotting her next move. I need to talk to Hubert. I need—"

"You need to rest," Manuela said with more force than she had ever used at the Academy. "Nobody has come or gone from the monastery since your display of pyrotechnics. We should discuss that by the way. I had to get Hanneman to examine you and—"

"Okay, that's enough," Caspar said as he barged in. "We want to talk to Edelgard too. Come on in, guys. She's awake."

Every member of her makeshift strike force must have been listening behind that door and they all poured in, their faces bright and unscarred. An unfamiliar emotion twisted in Edelgard's chest. Whatever else she had done, she had managed to save them. Nothing had been lost to either the Flame Emperor or the Church.

Dorothea all but shoved Hubert out of the way to reach her first. Her face was wet with tears as she drew Edelgard into a hug. "Edie! I'm so glad you're safe."

Edelgard returned the hug as best she could. "I'm sure this will go in your opera."

"I don't even know what 'this' is, let alone how to write about it." She shivered. "What did you do? I've never seen magic like that. The whole canyon was just on fire."

"It would have been intriguing, if you hadn't frightened me out of my mind." Linhardt put his chin in his hand. "Having two Crests opens up hitherto unknown avenues of magical research. It's almost worth all the blood. Almost."

Panic seeped through her heart. She had been so careful to hide the Crest of Flames. Rhea—the world—would have struck her down as a usurper and abomination long before learning of her plans for revolution. She forced herself to look at each of her comrades in turn. They didn't seem shocked. Even Hanneman was only nodding along with his usual level of excitement for all things Crestology. "How long have you known?"

"I was only able to confirm it definitively when helping Manuela examine you," Hanneman said. "It was Lysithia and Linhardt who brought their hypothesis to my attention, oh it must have been the week you and Professor Byleth were absent."

She had left for Enbarr early in the month. Hanneman of all people had kept her secret from Rhea. And Lysithia and Linhardt for even longer than that. A hard lump settled in her throat and refused to dissipate.

"It wasn't that difficult." Lysithia looked pleased with herself. "Sometimes when the fighting was really difficult and the professors couldn't get to us, your strikes hit with more force and to move more quickly in ways that couldn't be explained by adrenaline." She sobered and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "You have white hair."

Well, that was her own theory about Lysithia confirmed. They were going to have to have a long talk about their pasts. The room wavered. Just as soon as she was able to rise from her bed. "I'm sorry. The strain of combining my Crests was too much for me."

"It was really scary." Bernadetta hunched her shoulders in a telltale sign of an impending panic attack. "Your eyes went all black and red and bits of your skin went all gray and you look normal now but I'm scared you're going to turn back into a monster and what if you were always a monster and—"

"Easy, Bernadetta." Byleth's smile was the same as when a student berated themselves after a difficult exam and need consolation. "Deep breaths in and out like we practiced. Get some water. The rest of you, help Ladislava's men settle in. You too, Hubert."

"But Lady Edelgard—"

"—needs to consult with her physician. The war can wait for a moment."

Hubert bowed and left. Edelgard scarcely noticed. _Consult with her physician_. Manuela had been about to tell her something before the others had arrived. Just what had she done to herself when she had summoned the flame? She had known for years that she was dying, that she had only a limited amount of time in which to remake the world. If she had done something to shorten that already limited time… Byleth's face was unreadable. The Goddess couldn't hear her and wouldn't have answered if she could, but Edelgard could wish all the same. Let her have enough time to put an end to corruption and to redeem herself for what she must do. Let her spend those precious years with Byleth by her side as more than an ally. "And Professor Manuela is my physician for the moment. Let's get this over with."

Manuela pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed. "Directly to the point? As you wish. The body was never designed for the strain of bearing two Crests. And the spell you pulled off would have killed all but the most skilled ordinary mage." Her tone was clipped. The physician, not the songstress. "Byleth and I managed to stop you from cooking your own insides, and you should be able to swing that axe of yours in a week or so, but your body will never be able to handle the combined strain of magic and your Crests again. That bit of magic was your last."

Sharp, stabbing pain in her chest overrode the ache that had enveloped her said she had woken. No more magic. Some distant, rational voice whispered that it didn't matter how she fought as long as she did it well, but Edelgard was in no mood to listen. Magic was Byleth's gift to her, a talent she would have never known she possessed if not for her patient instruction. She had imagined that she would summon fire or lightning and remember the way Byleth's hands had ghosted over her to teach her correct form. Something of her beloved professor—her beloved—would remain even if this war separated them forever. And now it wouldn't. "Surely that's unduly grim?"

"The fact that you're in a condition to have this conversation is the opposite of unduly grim." Manuela removed a pocket mirror from her coat and pulled down Edelgard's collar. "This is what's going to happen if you don't obey physician's orders."

The exposed skin was gray with raised, jagged edges. Their skin. It seemed to writhe and pulse as she looked at it as if it desired to consume the healthy flesh. Bernadetta had said that her eyes had glowed red and perhaps it had been more than panic talking. To take up that power again would be to leave Edelgard behind. She would not do that, not when Byleth had shown her a glimpse of a world where she might change the world and keep the ice from her heart. "I can still fight?"

"Yes. Though I would appreciate it if you tried to preserve your own life in the future. I've had one of the students mix a concoction if you need something for the pain. Try to rest." She winked and was once more the professor Edelgard knew. "And I mean rest. If you and the professor want to celebrate survival, I know a number of more elegant places."

Edelgard's face burned. That woman was evil. And all she and Byleth had needed was a nearly bare room and a hard bed. At least Byleth looked just as embarrassed as she felt.

"You really should rest," Byleth said when she'd gone. "And when you're well, you and I are going to figure out what else you're secretly brilliant at." She threaded their fingers together and squeezed. "We'll get through this."

"You're going to help me?"

"Well, if I wanted to hurt you, there are less convoluted ways of going about it." She smiled, clearly pleased at the joke.

"Even though…" Edelgard closed her eyes. They never had finished the conversation earlier. But consequences couldn't be forestalled forever. It was time to learn if she would pay the price she had dreaded. "Do you think you can forgive me, my teacher?"

"I think that when I saw you surrounded by the fire, my heart was in my chest. I never want to see you hurt like this again, and that I'll do everything I can to keep you safe." She kissed Edelgard on the forehand and it burned hotter than any flame. "Sleep now. We'll talk more later."

It wasn't until after Edelgard was alone and she hovered once more on the edge between sleep and wakefulness that she realized that Byleth hadn't answered her question.

"This is all we were able to recover of the Flame Emperor's armor."

Edelgard and Hubert looked down at the two...objects on her desk. The vambrace she had removed before the attack was merely slightly warped; but the pauldron was a heap of twisted metal, the spikes twisting in on themselves like some sort of bizarre torture device. Edelgard blanched. Physician's orders it was, then. Her hand hovered over the metal. It even still felt hot. "At least we don't have to worry about the Church finding the armor."

"A small but significant stroke of luck." Hubert's lip curved upward almost imperceptibly. "Though the archbishop seems content to hide behind the walls of the monastery. While I wouldn't depend upon it, it may be that we will still be allowed to choose the time of our battle."

"Rhea must have exhausted herself by transforming." That was another stroke of luck. She rolled her shoulders. The pain had mostly receded and Manuela had finally consented to Edelgard resuming her training. The more time the Church delayed was more time for her to recover and find a new niche in her army. And perhaps repay her friends for everything she had been forced to do as the Flame Emperor. "I'm going to need new armor."

Hubert flinched almost imperceptibly. "Your uncle sent a raven this morning." Someday they would be able to use his true name without fear, but Edelgard had learned the hard way that those who slithered in the dark had ways of hearing even her most private conversations. "He knows about your injury. How, I don't know. He's riding for the camp as fast as he can and should be here in a day's time. If he were bringing troops, he would move more slowly. What does he want, I wonder?"

Edelgard gritted her teeth. "To check on my health no doubt." They looked at each other, and Edelgard knew that Hubert understood all that she couldn't say. Thales was coming to make sure that the weapon he had forged wasn't damaged beyond repair. When this war was over, she would have her revenge and ensure that no other children would watch in horror as their brothers and sisters died one by one. "I should hurry or I'll be late for training."

"Of course, Your Majesty." Hubert bowed. "I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you. From the Church or before. I shall endeavor to rectify the matter and ensure all involved face justice."

_None of this was your fault,_ she wanted to say._ You're only human and you were scarcely more than a child yourself when I was imprisoned beneath the palace._ But Hubert would accept no consolation, so there was nothing to do except find Byleth.

Most of the troops were already engaged in their own drills or in the various menial tasks that were essential to keeping a fort operational. They stared openly as she passed. Edelgard forced herself to slow. She was the Emperor now as well as Edelgard and it was important for the men to see that she was up and about and to put a human face on what they fought for. Most of them wore Imperial black, but they were more former Kingdom and Alliance knights then she could have hoped for even a few months ago. Humanity from every corner of the continent was uniting in the face of tyranny at last.

The training ground was an open courtyard similar to the one at Garreg Mach. Ashe and Bernadetta had set up makeshift targets and were practicing their archery while Linhardt was trying and failing to refine Petra's form with his knowledge of momentum. They all froze when they saw her. "Glad you can join us, Edelgard," Ferdinand said with his usual enthusiasm. "I have so many tactics I want to test against you. And now I have so many other things that I can surpass you in."

Soon enough they were all chattering, suggesting she try their own preferred field of study or telling her of news from their families or sharing gossip about the soldiers. Edelgard swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Part of her had been convinced that their warmth after she woke up was temporary and she would return to being their slightly distant minder responsible for keeping everyone on task. But perhaps... Perhaps they could be more than friends. Perhaps they could be confidants and she could be simply Edelgard with them, just as she was with Byleth.

"That's enough everyone. You can catch up with Edelgard after we run through drills."

Speaking of Byleth... Edelgard turned. Her professor was smiling, a small smile as always but her eyes crinkled in a way that always made Edelgard warm inside. She flourished her blade, and Edelgard enjoyed the way her muscles tensed and flexed as she moved. Byleth had appointed herself administrator and logistics officer in Edelgard's absence, so they had had little time together, but what they did have was pleasant. They hadn't kissed, let alone shared a bed again, but it seemed so wonderfully _possible_ that Edelgard was giddy at the thought.

Byleth handed her a training blade. "It's been a long time since I tested your swordplay. Let's see what you can do. Felix, if you would?"

Felix strode forward with a glint in his eye. "I heard rumors that your strength is extraordinary. I'm looking forward to seeing it without gimmicks." His expression softened for the briefest of moments. "If my father or the boar could see me now…"

She didn't want to think about Dimitri just then. She lunged for him, but Felix was ready for her with an easy parry. He had only asked to join the Eagles a few weeks prior, and Edelgard could count on one hand the number of times that they had sparred and then it had been with her axe. The training sword felt uncomfortably light after so long using the momentum of a heavy weapon as an asset. Felix had no such difficulty. He was fast, raining down strikes as fast as she could parry them. But parry them she did and even forced him back half a step to Caspar's delight.

Eventually, though, the inevitable happened. She jabbed at his sword arm, intending to disarm him and end the match. Her movement was broad, too sweeping for the unfamiliar weapon. She realized her mistake and try to return to a guard stance, but it was too late. Felix sped toward her and stabbed at her exposed sternum, triumph in his eyes. "Yield."

"I yield." Edelgard cast her eyes skyward. It was a good effort. Felix had always been the best swordsman at the Academy. Merely surviving against him while wielding an unfamiliar weapon for as long as she had was an achievement. But she wanted to excel, to prove she had lost nothing in the attack. War didn't care about good efforts. She would win or she would die.

"Well done, both of you. Petra, Sylvain..."

They took turns sparring or shooting targets until midday. Edelgard tried every weapon in turn. She was competent, but even the power of her Crest couldn't equal almost a year of training, and by the time they broke for lunch she was sore and in a foul mood. Curse Rhea and her soldiers for making this necessary. The war she faced would need a virtuoso, not merely another armored infantry soldier.

Byleth took her gently by the arm. "You did do well."

"It doesn't feel like it." She apparently resisted grinding her teeth. "I'd be useless in true battle with anything other than my axe."

"You forget that I've seen you with your axe. My money is decidedly on you against anything Rhea might throw against us. Up to and including turning into a dragon. I've never seen someone so skilled, and our company had some the finest soldiers in Fódlan."

Edelgard flushed at the praise. Her tutors had been full of compliments for the prodigy from the time she could walk, but Byleth made her feel light, and her anger sloughed away. "Those same soldiers would tell you how ineffective an axe is against a skilled swordsman, of which our enemies will have plenty. Not to mention various traps and barriers. I must be able to contribute."

Byleth cocked her head to one side. "You're the emperor. It's your dream and your plans that we're following. You can't not contribute." She trailed down Edelgard's arm until they were holding hands. "You don't have to carry this entire war on your shoulders anymore. If you axe fails you, then my blade and my magic are yours to command."

Edelgard's vision went suddenly hazy, and she didn't trust herself to do anything more than squeeze Byleth's hand. "Thank you, my teacher."

Her fingers ghosted over Edelgard's cheek. "Are you in pain?"

Edelgard blinked at the non sequitur. "Not especially."

"Good," she said with a secret, sly smile. "I have a surprise for you. Follow me."

They trooped through the camp, Byleth leading her by the hand and stubbornly refusing to say where they were going. It was a circuitous route they took, but Byleth must have had some plan in mind because they met nobody on the way and eventually they came to the stables. Edelgard found herself face to face with a black riding horse who whinnied happily and thrust his nose out to her. "Shadowstar!" Edelgard broke away from Byleth to throw her arms around her mount's neck. Her favorite horse was a minor loss in the grand scheme of things, but her cheeks ached from smiling nonetheless. "I thought I'd never see you again." She turned back to Byleth. "How?"

"Hubert and I have been keeping a close eye on the monastery. It wasn't a big leap to go from paying spies to paying a horse smuggler. We have time. Care for a ride?"

"Only if you take a break as well." They'd done all this for her. Edelgard, not the Emperor, for no practical reason. "You've been running yourself ragged on my behalf."

"Compared to the last four months, this is a vacation." A shadow flickered across her face. "But I think I will join you if you don't mind."

They saddled Shadowstar and one of the courier mounts, Byleth gave her a hand up, and then they were off. The wind caressed Edelgard's face and whipped through her hair. She'd had neither the talent nor the inclination to serve as a cavalry officer, but she had always loved riding. The speed, power, freedom of it. Feeling the sun her face after so long imprisoned. She glanced over at Byleth. Her teacher looked younger, happier than she had bee in months. "Race you to the crest of the hill?"

Well, she couldn't let that challenge go unanswered. "You'll lose, my teacher." She spurred Shadowstar on, and there was nothing but their joyous whoops and the thuds of their horses galloping.

"I win." Edelgard said between pants as she reached the top of the hill, Byleth less than half a length behind. The scene before her looked like a woodcut from a tale of chivalry. Afternoon sunlight shown on a wooded glade and danced on a stream. Pure unspoiled nature that knew nothing of the upheavel so close by. She dismounted. "I've been to this region before, but I had no idea about this view."

"Dad showed it to me once." Byleth joined her. They stood so close that Edelgard heard her soft breaths and felt the heat of her. "A job went bad and well, I thought you could use it."

"It's beautiful. Thank you, my teacher. You're far kinder to me than I deserve."

"Kindness? Seeing you happy makes me happy." She froze. "Seeing you happy makes me happy," she repeated slowly, haltingly. "Oh, to the Void with it..." She spun Edelgard to her and pressed their lips together. Her hands dug into Edelgard's back. Edelgard tried to pull her even closer. Byleth was kissing her. Byleth knew who she was and what she had done, and she was kissing her. Water trickled down her face and she didn't know whose tears they were.

Byleth guided Edelgard's head to her shoulder, and Edelgard buried her nose in her neck. It had been so long since she let herself be held like this. So long since she had felt safe and unafraid. Byleth stroked her hair. Edelgard sighed. This time there were no impending secrets to spoil their happiness. They had only to win the battle and they would have all the time in the world. She shivered. She would take her time. They would make love again, somewhere with a soft mattress and silken sheets and gorge themselves on each other.

"Is it all right?" Byleth whispered.

Edelgard looked up, confused. Byleth stared unfocused into the distance. A chill settled over Edelgard. "Of course it's all right." She stood on tiptoe to kiss her again. "I want you, my teacher. Nothing has changed."

"Sothis help me, I'm going mad." Her tone was light, but there was something wrong with it, and Edelgard didn't know how to ask. "We should head back before we scandalize the others."

They rode back in silence. Not the easy silence that had characterized their time as teacher and student, nor was it Byleth withdrawing into herself as she had after Edelgard's coronation. No, this was as if there was some unknown but unwanted companion they were both trying to ignore.

She wished she knew who it was and how to make them go away.

The experiments that had given Edelgard the Crest of Flames had robbed her of memory in return. Large parts of her time in Fhirdiad were a haze of images that she lacked the ability to even put in order. Her amnesia had its benefits. She had little to no memory of the true Lord Arundel, which meant restraining herself from vomiting every time Thales wore his face was possible.

She and Hubert stood in the cold morning air to greet him personally, as the Emperor should greet the Regent. He had brought only a small retinue, as Hubert had said, and not his own men. Interesting. "Uncle," she said in a tone born of years of etiquette training. "Such a pleasure to see you again."

"Your Majesty," he said with the same oily politeness. "I heard you were injured in your flight from the monastery. Not seriously, I hope?"

"I'm well enough. The attack will proceed as planned."

He raised an eyebrow. "If it were proceeding as planned, you would be meeting me at Garreg Mach. But you seem to have done well for yourself, considering the setback. I've heard the strangest rumors of how you managed to shake off your pursuers."

Edelgard grit her teeth. He would be interested in that. No doubt he was planning how to make use of her strange power as they spoke. She was going to draw out telling him that it was useless because he needed her alive at least until they had cast down the Church. Crush his hopes for once. "You know every soldier has his wild tale."

"Well, I look forward to hearing the truth then."

They exchanged formalities until Edelgard could no longer put off the inevitable. "You may join me in the commander's office. Hubert, if you would see that I'm not disturbed?"

If looks could truly kill, Hubert would have slain Thales a hundred times over. She led Thales down the hallway and froze. Byleth was waiting for them. She saw Thales, and her eyes, so like the depictions of the Goddess, hardened as her hand went almost absently to her sword. Edelgard had seen hatred in Thales eyes many times, but never this naked. The glamour cloaking him seemed to flicker. Edelgard didn't know how or why, but her beloved and the monster she needed recognized each other's nature.

"Edelgard," Byleth said through gritted teeth, "who is this?"

"Professor, may I present my uncle Lord Volkhard Arundel. He and I have long shared the goal of dismantling the Church."

"Professor? Ah, Edelgard has told me so much about you." His smile was like a wolf baring its teeth. Edelgard wished that she had had more faith in Byleth and that she had told Thales less. "That's you wield the Sword of the Creator. I hope to see it for myself someday."

"How unfortunate for you."

They glared at each other. Edelgard stood rooted to the spot. In all the time she had known Byleth she had never been afraid of her, not even when the Sword of the Creator had been at her throat. But this was not Byleth any longer. This was the Ashen Demon who had slain a hundred rebels in a single day. This was whatever power that had broken Solon's spell. She and Thales were a few poorly chosen words away from killing each other and taking the rest of the camp with them.

"I need to speak with my uncle about the battle." She tried her best to be soothing. "Can you make sure the militia members that arrived yesterday are behaving themselves? I heard rumors of trouble."

Byleth clenched and unclenched her fist, pushing down the power that threatened to pour out. "Of course. If you need anything, say the word."

It took everything Edelgard had not to run after Byleth. Instead, she showed Thales inside and closed and locked the door. "If you're worried that either your precious experiment or our plans to overthrow Rhea are compromised, you've wasted your time. As you can see, I'm quite recovered and the invasion will begin as soon as we've mustered our remaining forces."

"I see. And here I thought you were merely taking the opportunity to moon over that professor of yours."

Something about wearing her uncle's face made him more prone to such gibes. She had liked him better when he was too busy plotting his latest monstrous experiment and when she had been able to hide her face and voice. "The professor has been invaluable these past few weeks. We are fortunate to have her as an ally."

"It won't last, you know." He steepled his fingers. "She may wield the Crest of Flames, but she has Fell Star's eyes. It is in her blood and bone to betray you for those false gods."

"Byleth made her choice. She chose me." It didn't matter what rested within her. They had come through the nightmare and survived with their love intact. Nothing would part them now, not dragons and certainly not Thales.

He chuckled, which made her skin crawl in a way threats never could. "You rule over the most powerful country on the continent, but you're still a girl for all that. Do you imagine that one grand choice settles loyalty for all time? Your precious professor will turn on you the moment she realizes how you must steel your heart."

"She knows I will do what must be done. Or did you forget that your desire for Crest stones meant I had to turn my blade on her and my friends?" She strode to him and made her voice low and deadly. "I think its you who doesn't do what must be done. Perhaps I don't need to steel my heart. It has only led to needless deaths and accomplishing nothing."

"And following sentiment cost you your magical ability. How many more advantages will you throw away in a foolish desire to be loved?"

Breath left her lungs, and Edelgard sank into a chair to keep from collapsing. "You knew?" All of her plans for a petty victory or even leverage, gone.

"We made you what you are. I know more about your body than you do." He sounded as if he were explaining arithmetic to a child. "Activating two Crests at once causes the subject to emit considerable magical energy. They can only survive the strain once, at least in theory. But perhaps we can assist you in recovering your magical abilities and even improving them. I'm sure Byleth would be overjoyed. Magic lessons were how she fell in love with you, isn't that right?"

Was no aspect of her life free from their surveillance? But some dark part of her leapt to attention. It was the part of her that could wear a mask and order Dimitri's assassination and the part that never stopped hearing her sibling's screams. "And just how would you prove yourself more skilled than the finest physician in Fódlan?"

"Very simply. If you used a Crest Stone to focus that energy, you would have more than magic. Regrettably, you and your friends murdered Solon before we could be sure, but he theorized that it was possible for someone with two Crests to control the power of a Crest Stone. To take the form and power of a Demonic Beast but retain their mind and return to their human form after a time. It would be a painful transformation, and there are details as yet unknown, but it could be vital to the war effort."

Well. Her hand went to the scar on her chest. The thought of transforming into one of those things…she shivered. That should have been enough. It would have been for someone like Ferdinand. But flash was only flesh. Those creatures had cut through entire battalions on their own. Pain no longer frightened her. Didn't she owe it to her men to endure any sacrifice so that they made it home? It wasn't as if it would be permanent.

There was a time that would have been the end of her calculations, before she had had to strike down her own subjects in Remire. "You said details would need to be worked out. What sort of details?"

"Merely refinements to make sure we don't destroy our greatest creation. We would of course need to run experiments."

Experiments. So much suffering and death contained in that one word. "No. I've dealt with too many of you plans this year. You'll receive no more sacrifices from me."

His lips settled into a thin line. "You aren't nobler for refusing to kill ten so that a hundred might live. No sacrifice is too great to destroy the false goddess."

She thought of Jeralt lying in a pool of his own blood, of the messengers who said that her stepfather wasn't even recognizable. She thought, too, of the horrified looks on her friends' faces when she had revealed herself as the Flame Emperor. "There will be enough blood. Adrestia is strong enough—I'm strong enough—to unite Fódlan at a price I'm willing to pay."

"And your honor will doom this war. Will your professor save you when the best of Adrestia dies around you and the Archbishop drags you to the monastery in chains for a slow death?" His voice was cold, but his eyes flashed. "I'll be staying with Count von Ardal for a few weeks. I'm told that there's good hunting. Find me when you come to your senses." He nodded curtly and was gone.

Edelgard exhaled and ran her hands through her hair. She could do this. They would win with strategy and the unity of an army drawn from every corner of the continent. Her axe and armor would be enough. There was no need for her to become the monster she had feared. No need at all.

She opened the door to find Byleth waiting for her. She frowned and put her hands on Edelgard's shoulders. "You're shaking. "

"I'll be fine. No trouble with the militia, I trust?"

"Just some part-time soldiers who needed to be told to stop drinking so much." Her eyes narrowed. "And don't change the subject. Who is Arundel? I had the urge to murder him just looking at him."

"He is a monster and a leader of monsters. He made me what I am."

"The one who blocked my sword when I tried to save Dad. I should kill him where he stands." She took Edelgard's hands. "Swear to me that you won't get him what he wants."

"I swear." Edelgard kissed her. "Why would I need those who slither underground when I have Eagles?"

"Your Majesty!"

Edelgard's head snapped up from her letter. Randolph was normally even more sure of himself than Caspar but he was pale as he entered her office. He shouldn't even have been here. He and Ferdinand had been tasked with investigating rumors of a Church scouting party and... _No. Please, no_. "What's wrong?"

"We were ambushed by Church dastards. We managed to kill them all, but Lord Ferdinand was grievously wounded."

Edelgard couldn't move, couldn't speak. Soldiers were killed and maimed in war, but she had spent so long believing her friends would abandon her that she hadn't spent much time worrying about the day one of them would be injured. She had always been strong enough to protect them all before. Ferdinand. He annoyed her but he was still her friend. She had failed him. "Is he…is it mortal?"

"He lives. We brought him directly to the infirmary. Manuela and Byleth are with him."

Edelgard shot to her feet. Her skills had never lain with healing magic even when she could cast spells, but she had to look him and Dorothea in the eye and do what she could.

"Your Majesty? The Church only succeeded because the villagers helped them. What shall we do?"

"What do we normally do with traitors? Hang them."

She walked as quickly as she could toward the infirmary. Her legs felt rubbery. Treason on behalf of the Church. She should have anticipated that, too, with the way Rhea got her hooks in the heart of people from the time they could talk, threatening physical and spiritual damnation for defying her. Of course some would rather see Edelgard fall then the Church broken.

_It's only going to get worse,_ said Thales' voice in her mind._ More of your friends will fall. More of your subjects will rebel unless they are forced._

She entered the same room where she had awoken after summoning the flame. Ferdinand lay in the bed, stripped to the waist. He was deathly pale, his golden hair matted to his scalp, and his golden eyes unfocused. His chest was bandaged, blood already seeping through the fabric. Dorothea knelt at his bedside and held his hand. Byleth stood on the other side of him, muttering an incantation as her hands glowed with power.

Ferdinand turned his head. "Edelgard?" He smiled weakly. "Do you now wish to accept my challenge? I am afraid a duel in my condition would not be very sporting."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry and the strangled sound that emerged from her throat was an unholy mix of both. "The only people I wish to fight at the moment are those who did this to you."

"No need, and it was my own mistake. I chose to send our mages to flank the enemy and left myself exposed. "

"Not letting me come with you was your mistake, Ferdie!" Dorothea made no move to wipe her tears. "You knew you didn't have a full complement of mages. We would have been flunked out of the Academy for such a stupid mistake! Isn't that right, Professor?"

"This happened because of a lack of magical talent?" Adrestia had always been known for its sorcerers, but war placed demands on even the most ample resource, and investigating a rumor would have been a low priority for additional manpower. In the old days, she would have ridden alongside Ferdinand and enjoyed the chance to practice throwing fire.

Dorothea stared at the bloodied bandages. "I thought I was used to people getting hurt by now. Oh, Goddess, we haven't even really started this war yet."

_It's only going to get worse._

Ferdinand was injured and Dorothea was inconsolate because of her. If she had been all that she should have, she would have had the power to prevent this. Someday one of her beloved friends would die because they simply didn't have the power to prevent it. Humans were limited after all.

But she had powers beyond the human at her command. "I swear this will never happen again. You will all come through this war safe no matter what I have to do."

Byleth's eyes went wide. "Don't say things like that."

A frisson of guilt sparked through her heart. Byleth wouldn't like what she was thinking of doing. Better to be disliked than to bury her beside Jeralt, surely? "I'm angry. I just want these Church zealots dealt with. I'll feel better in the morning." She squeezed Dorothea's shoulder. "Let Hubert know if either of you need anything. I'll be back in the morning." She tried to smile at Ferdinand. "I promise that if you recover I will consider granting you your precious duel."

She made for the stables as quickly as she could. It was mid afternoon. The estate that Thales had mentioned wasn't far. She would be back by dark if all went well. Bile rose in her throat. Fate seemed to have a knack for forcing her to make impossible choices. If there was any justice in the world, she would be using her axe and her Crest to purge Thales and his kind from the Fódlan and beyond. Her beloved and her friends should have given her all the power she needed to free humanity without turning to dark arts. But then, if there was any justice in the world her hair would be brown and Dimitri would be nothing more than her beloved younger brother. Instead, she would give Thales those she had told Randolph to hang for treason. They had already forfeited their lives. As for what the end result might do to her… How could she call herself the one who could unite Fódlan when she was not willing to suffer anything so that others might live?

A solitary figure leaned against Shadowstar's stall door, and Edelgard's heart sank. Byleth's eyes shone in the darkness. "I hoped I would be wrong. Thales is a monster. This help isn't worth it."

Surprise crowded out fear or anger. "You were listening at the door."

"I was worried for you. Can you blame me?" She took a step forward. "You promised that you were done with them."

She sounded so miserable that Edelgard wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and promise that she would do whatever Byleth wanted. Damn Rhea and her corrupt Church. "Would it be so bad if I executed people by handing them over to be turned into Demonic Beasts? I can keep anything like this from happening ever again." She shivered. "I almost lost you once. Never again."

"Torture is always wrong, Edelgard." Another step forward. "If you must kill, make it quick and clean. Otherwise, you will become a beast. And I don't mean physical change."

Each word was a knife to her heart. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The worst was supposed to be over and they were to be allies and lovers. She was supposed to have made her choice. Phantom weight like that of a mask pressed on her face. "What choice do I have? I'm only doing what I have to."

Byleth's breath hitched. "Is there nothing you won't sacrifice for your ambition? You keep telling me that I saved you. But I'm having trouble seeing the difference." Her shoulders shook and her eyes shone as they had that day in the chapel ruins. "Tell me that I'm not betraying my father by being in love with you."

"If I could turn back the hands of time and bring him back to you, don't you think I would? I love you too."

The sound Byleth made was barely human. "You love me? You would turn back the hands of time? I tried that. It doesn't work. If you love me so much, then choose me."

This was Edelgard's true punishment. She had been granted everything she wanted, allowed to taste a victory that kept her soul intact and gave her the that love she had craved. But her fated doom had been stalking them all from the moment they had escaped the Holy Tomb. "I have to go." She pushed past an unresisting Byleth and wished she could weep.

Shadowstar's hooves clopped on the path and Edelgard's body seemed to control the horse without her conscious will. She couldn't even be sure that she was going the right way. There was only pain and grief and rage. She had lost Byleth, for good this time. There was nothing to keep the ice from her heart. It would have been better if Byleth had tried to kill her in the Holy Tomb.

_It would have been better if I had died beneath the palace._

But she wasn't dead. She was the last of the Hresvelgs, the only one who could make their deaths matter. The only one who could ensure that no one else was ever tortured. She was the Emperor of Adrestia, the one charged with giving her life to protect her friends and see Fódlan united and free. She had no choice except...

Shadowstar whinnied, and Edelgard was forced from her fog. A body lay at the side of the road. A soldier, his red cloak fanning out behind him. One of her men, doubtless killed in the ambush. Edelgard dismounted. She couldn't afford to send out a squad to bring him back, not with the Church on the prowl and her own forces so limited, but she could grant him what dignity she could and mark his passing.

As she drew closer, a foul smell invaded her nostrils. Not decay but the stench of sulfur. The smell of foul magic. The last time she had sensed it was...when she had knelt beside Byleth as she cradled Jeralt's dying body. She tore at his tunic until she could examine the wound. It was ragged and the stench was overpowering. Exactly as it had been for Jeralt. "Thales, you bastard."

She found the largest stone she could and put it at the corpse's head to serve as a makeshift marker. It would have to do. She had to return to camp before her stupidity cost her even more.

Edelgard and Shadowstar were both sweating by the time she barreled into camp. Several soldiers on sentry duty or doing maintenance stared at her in open amazement. She must have looked a fright, the Mad Emperor running back and forth. She went to her office, pulled out a piece of parchment and quill and began.

_By the order of Edelgard, Emperor of Adrestia on this the twenty-fifth day of the Lone Moon, Lord Volkhard von Arundel is to return to Enbarr with all haste and remain there to await our pleasure. He is to be refused entry into any prison or asylum or similar place with a large congregation of persons, nor are Crest scholars and other people of science permitted to speak or correspond with them without our permission or that of Marquis Vestra._

It wouldn't stop Thales or his allies completely, but it would hamstring them and remove the temptation for her to fall prey to their manipulations once more. She only wished she could add an order of execution. She sealed the letter and summoned the nearest guard. "Take this to Lord Randolph and see that he carries out the order immediately. Tell him to bring a battalion if he needs it."

"At once, Your Majesty. Anything else?"

One thing. One very important thing. "Have you seen my classmates or Professor Eisner?"

"They're with Lord Ferdinand, I believe. The professor said something about saying her goodbyes."

Her goodbyes? What had she done?_ Thrown away everything I love because of a monster's deception. No, because of my own fear._ She squared her shoulders and marched to the sickroom to try to undo the damage. She hoped she wasn't too late.

Her classmates were crowded around Ferdinand's bed, just as they had crowded around her. Byleth was still there, sitting next to the bed with and uncomfortable expression. Her eyes were faintly red. She had been crying. Because of what Edelgard had said? It seemed she had done nothing over the last few months but make Byleth cry. At least none of them had noticed her presence as yet. She stood at the door and listened.

"You cannot be leaving," Petra was saying. "We have no wish to fight without you. You are our heart. "

"You've all grown so strong. You don't need me anymore. Edelgard has her own way of doing things. I just, I can't stay."

"Wait, are you guys fighting? Because with the way you two were acting after you got back from Enbarr, Linhardt here thought you two were sleeping together."

"Caspar!"

"Well, you do."

Byleth cleared her throat. "As I was saying…Edelgard is very dear to me. You are all very dear to me. That's why I have to go. There are things that are going to happen that I don't want to see." Her voice was raw. "I want my memories of you to be like this. The thing that you are fighting for is a beautiful dream, but what the Empire will do to accomplish it is something that I can't have any part of. Give my regards to Edelgard. Tell her…well I suppose she knows what I would say."

Never let it be said that she didn't know how to make an entrance. "And what pray tell would you say, my teacher?"

They all looked at her. Even Ferdinand turned his head weakly. Caspar and Linhardt looked like they wanted the Immaculate One to come gobble them up. But Byleth stared at her, embarrassment and fear and love and grief all simmering beneath the surface. Edelgard wondered that she had ever thought her inhuman. "I have something to say to you, all of you. I should have said it the night we escaped, but I didn't know how."

No one moved, not even Byleth. Edelgard took that as invitation to continue. "First, I want to apologize for every time that I put you in danger this year. I was at best careless with your lives and the lives of people you cared about in my desire to make a better world. It was unworthy of me as your emperor and even worse as your friend.

"We're fighting a dangerous enemy. One that has controlled this world for a thousand years. I want to promise you that you will never be hurt because of my ambition. You have no idea how much I want to promise you that." She looked at Ferdinand. "But I can't. We all know how ugly battle is. I think it's necessary, but I want you here with me because you believe in this world that I want to create. What I can promise you is that we will stay human. No more compromises. No more people like Kronya skulking around. Were going to fight, but were also going to show this continent that we don't need to stoop to the enemy's tactics to win. We will fight and sacrifice and win with our own mortal skill with no gods or Beasts to help us. Are you with me on this path?"

"Of course we are," Dorothea said. "I don't want war, but if it means no more kids growing up on the streets, then it has to be done." Her gaze fixed on the spot just below Edelgard's collarbone. "You're our friend, Edie. We'll fight for you no matter what."

She wondered if declarations of loyalty would ever not bring a lump to her throat. "And you, my teacher? I won't keep you here against your will. Free passage is yours anywhere you wish to go, if that's still what you want."

Byleth closed her eyes. Edelgard was sure her heart was hammering loudly enough for both of them. "If this is really the path that you're going to walk, I want to walk it with you, come what may."

Ferdinand coughed. "I feel that there is much going on here that I do not understand, but I am glad that you are staying, Teacher." He hissed in pain. "As grateful as I am for our camaraderie, might I be allowed to rest?"

"Sure, Ferdinand." Caspar's smile was mischievous. "Now that we know the professor is staying, I think this calls for a party in the dining hall. You probably wouldn't want to come anyway."

"I object. A true noble always participates in appropriate revelry." He smiled at Dorothea. "But you have all been so attentive to me. I insist you take a break. "

"Professor, Edie, are you coming? Say you'll come. Ferdie's right. We could all use a break."

"I'll join you in a moment," Byleth said. "I think Edelgard and I really do have a lot to talk about."

She felt the gazes of the others on them as they left the room and Dorothea's strange smile. Edelgard and Byleth didn't speak and by silent consensus found themselves walking outside. Sunset bathed the ground in glorious oranges and purples, and the air was sweeter than it had been in some time. "I am truly sorry for what I've done and for what I almost did." It had been easier to apologize to the others as a group, but here alone with Byleth, the words were thick in her mouth. "Thales and his kind are too strong for me to oppose directly, but I sent him back to Enbarr. I don't know what it'll cost me to win this war without their help, but there are things worse than death."

Silence. "My teacher?"

"I… Thank you for that." Byleth seemed to be having as much trouble talking as she was. "I know in my head that it was Kronya and not you that killed Dad. And I love you and I tried so hard to push things down after you got hurt and…are feelings this confusing for most people?"

It hurt to laugh, but it felt good too, like a weight she hadn't known she was carrying sliding from her shoulders. "I'll let you know when I figure that out."

Byleth turned to face her. "I think what I do need right now is time. Just process everything that's happened instead of trying to jump back into what we were before. I'm sorry."

There it was then. Her long-hoped for romance was over almost as soon as it had begun. But it didn't feel like an ending. It felt like cleaning out the weeds at the monastery so that flowers could grow in their place. "Then I will use that time to prove to you that your trust in me is not misplaced. No matter what happens, I'll become an emperor that you can be proud of."

"I am proud of you." Byleth squeezed her hand. "Someday..."

Someday. When this war was over and they had had a chance to grieve and heal, maybe they could truly be together. There was so much work to be done before that, though. Which just meant that she had to get started. "Shall we join the others? It would be poor form to miss a celebration."

"It would. And you know, despite everything, I think we have a lot to celebrate."


End file.
